King of the Castle
Going Big on Valentine’s Day

Usually on Valentine’s Day, you like to keep things simple.

Candlelit dinner. Bottle of red. A few sonnets from the bard Edward Money.

But this year, you’re thinking of something a bit more off-the-beaten-path. You know, like an empty castle where Babe Ruth used to live.

Presenting the Alden Castle Private Valentine’s Day Experience, your chance to rent out an entire castle for February 14, taking reservations now.

This is sort of the epitome of bringing out the big guns. You’ll start by calling these guys up and telling them you’d like the castle for the night for you and your date. Then, get cleaned up, throw on a suit/dress/moat-friendly cape and prepare to be picked up in a classic 1920s vehicle. (Feel free to talk Jack Dempsey with the chauffeur.)

Soon, you’ll arrive at the castle, onetime home to Babe Ruth when he played for the Sox. From there, it’s everything you’d expect from a night at your own castle: old-timey bar, personal harpist, four-course steak-and-lobster dinner, aged sherry, vintage dessert cart. (Note: this was also the Bambino’s typical breakfast.)

And after the plates are cleared and the turrets are admired, you’ll move to the dance floor, as a jazz quartet and a vocalist perform only for you.

This may not be the time for the robot.