The Rejection List
The Things We Left Behind in 2012
Every day, we try to bring you something that you need to know about. In doing this, we often come across...
things you don’t need to know about. Here are four of those things. Call them the best of the reject pile.
Or the worst of the reject pile.
Somewhere along the way, someone made the “call me” hand gesture and thought, “Imagine if you could
actually call someone like that.” Enter these, which connect to your phone by Bluetooth, with the thumb
and index finger serving as an actual phone. Which totally defeats the point of Bluetooth. And gloves, we
A skilled lap dancer doing their thing on you: harmless fun (by someone just trying to pay for med school).
Yet you wearing these special underpants with a lube pocket in the private parts area so that the lap dance
feels “amazing” just seems gross. Mainly because it is.
Necomimi Brainwave Cat Ears
As we progress as a sentient species, the threat of our technological adolescence presenting a few misfires
becomes more real. Evidence: wearable cat ears that sense your brain waves and react by perking up, wiggling
or drooping, depending on your mood. Which also begs the question: why cats?
Sure, a personal urine bag strapped to your calf with a catheter connected to an in-pants funnel positioned
to capture your waste while at a ball game or concert sounds like a perfectly rational idea. Until you say
that out loud and realize how absurd it is. Learn to hold it, people.