Let There Be Light
The Sun God of Umbrellas

Nice day out today.

Actually, no, no it’s not.

It’s the kind of grim, soggy day that’s besmirched by a general sense of rain-soaked dreariness, and mostly robbed of all its sweetness and light (or as much sweetness and light as can be found on a Monday).

While we can’t do much on the sweetness side, for light, we bring you the following...

Presenting the Lighted Safety Umbrella, an umbrella that rains light down upon the perilous wet road while shielding you from the damp, rainy sky above, now available.

No, this isn’t some kind of magic, light-producing wizardry one would read about in Lord of the Rings (though one could imagine it having Elvish origins).

Rather, it’s pure human ingenuity. See, the manufacturers realized that when trotting to your car, to your home or just to the pub during a vicious downpour after work, one of the many problems you may face besides staying dry is that of seeing where you’re going (and avoiding Lake Winnipesaukee-size puddles in the process).

Problem, meet solution: there’s a 6-volt Krypton bulb built into the main rod and 3M reflective material on the underside of the canopy, creating a six-foot spotlight around you while you walk.

May not work as a mood-setting device in the bedroom though.