The Rejection List
The Things We Left Behind in 2012
A lot of things find their way onto our desk. Products. Pitches. Whole roasted pigs on National Whole
Roasted Pig Day. Some become the stories you read every day. Some... well, let’s just say that sometimes
greatness is measured in pure and total awfulness. Herewith: a few shining examples of exactly that.
Kickboard Micro Luggage
Luggage. It’s always served you well. But then again, it never turned into a scooter. You couldn’t ride
it. Which is probably why somebody invented this suitcase that conveniently turns into a scooter for your
navigating-Terminal-B pleasure. Or your looking-kind-of-super-stupid pleasure.
So here’s a company that screen-prints your Instagram feed onto throw pillows. Just... that’s what
they do. Send them your pics and boom: social media pillow. We’re not sure what happens if you take an
Instagram of your Instagram pillow, but we think the universe explodes and is replaced by Etsy.
Barbie Doll Jewelry
Want to know what doesn’t make a great gift? Jewelry made from old Barbie doll parts doesn’t make a
great gift. But these guys went ahead and made a bunch of that anyway. Wearing earrings manufactured from
100% Malibu Barbie face isn’t creepy at all. It’s not.
You always thought your sandwiches were manly enough as it is. Ample meat. Cheddar so sharp it can draw
blood. You even named one of them Hector. But you were very, very wrong, according to the makers of
Mannaise. You see, it’s “manly” mayonnaise. Which we always thought was BBQ sauce.
What you have here is an ID tag for your dog that’s also a bottle opener. Okay, fair enough. Until your
dog runs away, that is. Then you can probably expect a call from the ASPCA. And they’ll probably be drunk.
Which would probably be weird. Anyway, don’t buy this.