Published December 28, 2012
The Rejection List
This anonymous gift of deodorant just slipped through the cracks of every gift guide you read this season. Give it to someone who smells and doesn’t know it. Four scents to choose from. It’s either this, or getting friends who don’t reek.
Face-Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece
Here’s your “of course it’s from Japan” submission... The idea here is, you open and close your mouth against the resistance of these bloated rubber lips. This allegedly fights wrinkles and helps keep your face slim. Apparently, there’s a facial obesity crisis over there.
His Hair Scalp Pigmentation
Baldness happens. It’s just an unhappy fact of life. On one end of the reaction spectrum—the good end—you’ve got your Michael Jordans, your Bruce Willises and your Ben Kingsleys. On the other end, there’s this—essentially tattooed hair. You’ve always wanted to look like a human Photoshop disaster.
You’re familiar with the existence of dating sites like Match.com. And you’re familiar with puppies like Lassie. Well, this is the fusion of the two. It’s a dating site for dogs... who apparently use the Internet now.