Published December 17, 2012

The Late Greats
Your Last-Minute Strokes of Gifting Genius

FOR THE RUSSIAN UNCLE

Eric Ripert Imperial Select Caviar

Eric Ripert runs a little outfit called Le Bernardin. Fish leap from the ocean into pans just for the privilege of being prepared by him. Anyway, this is the sturgeon roe he serves there. And if you’re in Manhattan, you can get it delivered... today. So you probably should.

411:: $525-$1,050, available at Paramount Caviar, 718-786-7747

FOR THE WHIMSICAL AUNT

Flat Life Clock

This takes Dalí to the next level. It’s basically a poster that has a desk clock on it. Only it’s not a desk clock, see. Just a photo of one. Except the clock photo itself actually tells time. Once you recover the pieces of your blown mind, gift this thing.

411:: $150, available at The Future Perfect, 55 Great Jones St, 212-473-2500, and 115 N 6th St, Brooklyn, 718-599-6278

FOR THE ADAMANT CARNIVORE

The Beef Enthusiast CSA

Gifts that keep on giving: Human Fund donations, ponies and this six-month subscription to the world’s best dry-aged beef. Every other week, your ecstatic giftee picks up three to seven pounds of whatever cut is on the schedule, along with recipes. Just make sure they remember who gave it to them.

411:: $665, available at Tiberio Custom Meats at Sauce, 78 Rivington St (at Allen), 718-374-5148

FOR THE CONNOISSEUR OF PLEASURE

Gourmet Gift Box

Dipping sauce. Kinky massages. Well-made pasta. Seductive showers. Classic oil fights. There’s really no limit to what someone can get out of this set of oils and vinegars. First of all, yes, black and white truffle varieties are included. Second of all, oil fight’s at your place.

411:: $50, available at O Live Brooklyn, 60 Broadway (between Berry and Wythe), Brooklyn, 718-384-0304

FOR THE EPIC BEARDSMITH

Brooklyn Grooming

A lot of maintenance goes into a truly spectacular example of facial hair. There’s beard oil, mustache wax, facial serum and muttonchop glue. Okay, one of those is fake. The rest are available from this Brooklyn enterprise. (And you were right, it was muttonchop glue.)

411:: $22-$48, available through Dec 18 at the Nylon Pop-Up Shop, 72 Gansevoort St, and anytime at The One Well, 165 Greenpoint Ave, Brooklyn, 347-889-6792

FOR YOUR OWN SANITY

Her Name’s Allie. She Wraps Presents.

You have a lot of admirable qualities. Really, you do. But gift wrapping is not among them. So consider a festive young lass, Allie, at your disposal. Bring your gifts, choose a wrapping style, go grab a drink somewhere, pick the gifts up. We heard she has a PhD in origami.

411:: $4/package and up, available from Wrap it Up, 347-201-2910

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